I think mermaids are mysterious, intriguing depictions of duality. They are part animal and part human. Able to experience things below the surface as well as above. It’s a great metaphor for the blending of subconscious and conscious awareness. Awareness brings with it a sense that there’s no going back. You can’t unlearn, unsee, or take your old identity back after you’ve evolved. Once you are “born” you can’t re-enter the womb, so to speak. You’ve expanded too much. Perhaps there is a part of me that identifies with mermaids because it reminds me of my evolution from a footless embryo to a fetus (pun intended). Once I had feet I wanted to use them. As I grew up, I no longer believed I was one with my mother- sharing her heartbeat and rhythm. Our life is a series of similar identity changes. Each experience changes us in ways that can’t be undone.
I’ve been painting a beautiful mermaid and imagining what her life might be like if she were real. I’ve named her Neptune. Her layered imprint on the blues below her and the reds above her interested me. Her gaze is on the moon and what is ahead (above).
Imagine with me…
She comes to the surface out of curiosity. She wants an explanation for why the stars and moon cause songs to well up within her. She’s noticing how quickly the colors of the sunset change as they approach and that they match the colors of her tail. The animal part of her is submerged underwater. The other part of her is exposed above the waterline. As she serenades the fading sunset her hair begins to dry. It curls around her shoulders. It has an unfamiliar softness as the breeze brushes it against her face and back. It bounces in the breeze. The weight of it feels so different than when it’s wet.
She is always surprised by the contrast of colors she sees above and below the water. They are neither muted nor marbled but vibrant and bright. She squints her eyes at the intensity of the sun. The top of the water shimmers and sparkles so much that it feels blinding. The heat on her skin is nothing like she’s used to. It reminds her of the one time she saw an underwater volcano and felt the water warm to her touch. Perhaps the sun drops down into a volcano each night? It’s a great mystery where the sun and moon hide and why. She has so many questions about how and why they transform. She wonders what causes the tide and her fertility cycle to sync with them. What kind of powerful life source are they? She wants to understand how they are related.
As she waits for the stars to reappear, she sees an island in the distance that beckons her forward. The closer she gets, the warmer and clearer the water becomes. She pulls herself up onto shore with the strength of her arms. The sand is strangely sticky on her skin. Now beached on the shore she notices a heaviness like never before. It’s disorienting without the gentle rhythm of the sea. In the absence of her buoyancy, her sense of smell and hearing are heightened. Everything feels so overwhelming. She feels tired and dizzy as she acclimates herself to her new surroundings.
The wind feels slightly familiar. The trees sway in its power much like they do in her world. Some of the animals swim with the wind but most of them are stuck to the land, which seems the opposite. Perhaps they could do both if they wanted to? She wonders if they can wind swim to the moon. She must find out! She has so many more questions now!
In disbelief, she sees for the first time someone who resembles herself. How is this possible? Why didn’t she know about this land-dwelling tribe? Was their existence a well-kept secret or are they just undiscovered? If a secret, they must be dangerous if they were kept hidden from her. But they look so happy; this doesn’t make sense. She sees that they can enter the water and return to land whenever they please. The mermaid begins to contemplate what it would be like to have that ability. What would it be like to no longer be limited to living in the sea? As the reality of all that she has just witnessed begins to take root, a turtle swims ashore.
The mermaid sees that the turtle has learned to live in both worlds. The mermaid’s respect grows for how resilient and adaptable the turtle is. “The turtle is at home within herself…wherever she is” she whispers to herself. She watches as the turtle slowly makes its way inland to make a nest. There is a river and a waterfall near the nest. Different kinds of fish are in the river… types she has never seen before! She marvels at how the waterfall dances in such a peculiar way. Like an anchor at sea, it begins to sink in how hard it will be to return to the sea now that she knows a whole new world exists within her reach. Her mind is teeming with possibilities. She doesn’t know how, but she desperately wants to stay and learn more. She dreams of walking, then dancing, and eventually swimming in the wind to the moon and back. She looks down at her fins and realizes that they are only helpful for water swimming. If she wants to live on land she will need to evolve. So, she does.
Time passed and the islanders welcomed her easily. Her curiosity motivated her to embrace their language and culture. She married, loved her family deeply, and grew old in the new land. She would sometimes think about the day her life changed. She smiled at the thought of herself buoyed in the water singing at the moon. She thought about the fish she used to swim with in her youth. They had no concept of life above water. No idea that land life existed or the stars, moon, and sun above that. Although she learned many new things, she still wondered where the sun and moon traveled each day and night.
She remains committed to letting curiosity guide her. As the sun sets each night, she hums a tune to the moon and includes a practice to remember the events of the day with gratitude. She finishes many happy days by wriggling her toes and whispering to herself, “Home is where I am”.
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