Highly sensitive people are prone to be spiritual, deep thinkers, empathic, and aware of the supernatural world. It’s important to have a spiritual practice that grounds you and recharges your batteries. One of the most transformative things that has helped me process pain is a spiritual practice that is easy yet profound. I love attachment theory and neuroscience and this journaling practice includes both!
The practice is called “Listening to Immanuel” and the journaling part of it is referred to as “Immanuel Journaling”. It's a two way conversation between you and God. The authors (Wilder, et al) wrote a book titled, Joyful Journey that explains the neuroscience of it. It’s a quick and easy read that I highly recommend. There is much much more to this and I'm only skimming the surface with a basic introduction here. The term Immanuel is about one of the many names of God, which translates to “God with us”. The practice is intended to build a secure attachment bond with God and in turn, teaches us how to bond with others.
For most of my life, I survived with the perspective that avoiding pain was the solution to all my problems. I became skilled at becoming whatever people needed me to be in an attempt to gain favor, love, or control over the situation. This created a pattern and unhealthy habit of me not being authentic. My identity was clouded by my fears. What we focus on will grow, and over time my fears became an unconscious fixation.
Once I started Immanuel journaling consistently, I created new neural pathways that made gratitude another unconscious option. Healing from pain is about enduring suffering in a healthy relationship with God and others (in a community). Relationships can change the brain.
The premise behind Immanuel journaling is to activate our brains to be relational, creative, and open to new perspectives. When we are afraid our sympathetic nervous system often prevents us from thinking in these ways. Its job is to protect with fight or flight responses. The journaling exercise helps calm the nervous system using gratitude, validation, attunement, and care. A feeling of peace and a sense that we are not alone replaces the fear. It creates a lifestyle habit of “checking in” with God throughout the day and staying in a state of gratitude for longer and longer periods. Let me share a quick analogy to make my point.
Imagine a mother with her toddler at the park. Mom came equipped with snacks, water, sunscreen, and a comfy chair. Her toddler is so excited and overwhelmed by all the toy choices that she plays without breaks all morning. When another child doesn’t share the swing she wanted a meltdown occurs. Because the mom is neither Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired (use the acronym HALT to remember these triggers that signal a need to rest), she can attune to the big feelings her child is having. She can lovingly remind her child of happy times and other available toys. She can validate her child’s sadness with words or nonverbal holding. The mother helps quiet her fears and assists in her return to a joyful mind state.
This story illustrates that we need others to help us calm down and return to joy. Similarly, if we want to help others in their distress, we need to make sure we are rested and grounded first. What would have happened if the mother was hungry, angry, lonely, or tired when the toddler began to cry and scream? There would have been two upset people triggering each other. Both would be blaming each other for causing more suffering. Our pain tolerance is low when we are not in a grateful mindset. We do not feel like ourselves nor act like our truest selves when we are overwhelmed. Neither are we open to collaboration, listening objectively, or understanding other’s perspectives. When I see other people as a problem to be solved instead of desiring to connect with them relationally- I can know that my fight /flight response has been activated and it’s time to check in and take a rest with someone who is already joyful, thankful, and well-rested.
Many people don’t have someone like that readily available. Thankfully, God is always available and always happy to be with you no matter your mood. If you have doubts (which most people do) then I ask you to experiment with Immanuel journaling to see if it helps you feel better. Better yet, join a journey group and practice alongside others who are learning how to build a secure attachment style. Alive and Well is opening registration in July 2022 for groups beginning in August. Speaking from experience, something magical happens when you share your journal writings with others.
If you want to try it alone, I recommend you journal through all the prompts at least 33 times (no time frame and no rush). Write a statement about how you feel about God before your first sitting, then after the 33rd journaling session write another summary and compare. Are you feeling any less lonely? That is, do you sense God’s daily presence more easily now than before?
Here are the 7 Immanuel Journaling Prompts
Step one: Gratitude
Write about anything I appreciate or a happy time I remember and then write God’s response to my gratitude. Example: God, I’m thankful for…. Dear child of mine, you’re welcome…
Step two: I can see you
Write from God’s perspective what he observes in you right now, including your physical sensations. Example: I can see you at your desk. Your breathing is shallow and your shoulders are tight… OR I saw what you witnessed today, I was there too…
Step three: I can hear you
Write from God’s perspective what he hears you saying to yourself or what he hears from your actions. Example: You’re wondering if I will answer your questions, OR I hear in your voice and tears that you’re discouraged and tired, OR Your silence and avoidance tell me that you’re upset, OR I heard you say to your spouse, “I’m done with you”.
Step four: I understand how big this is for you
How does God see your dreams, experiences, and/or troubles? How does the past influence what’s happening in the present? Example: I want you to know that I care about what matters to you. Your accomplishment brings me great pleasure because I know how hard you worked for this…. OR I understand how intimidated you feel because of…., This situation feels all-consuming to you because it reminds you of when….
Step five: I am glad to be with you no matter what, and I promise to treat your weakness tenderly
How does God express his desire to participate in your life? Talk to him about your questions, or ask him how he sees you. Example: Your dreams are precious to me and I will be with you no matter what happens, OR I see your discouragement after fighting again, I’m glad you are sharing it with me. Times when you are frustrated and tired are when I want to be closer to you….
Step six: I can do something about what you are going through
What does God give you for this time? Does he remind you of who you are? Does he offer help? Sometimes a memory or song will come to mind. Example: Come away with me. I offer you times of refreshing, new energy or vision…. OR I will strengthen you. Remember how I sent your friend to encourage you last week? With me, you are never alone….
Step seven: Read what you have written aloud (preferably to someone else or to yourself in a mirror). Don’t skip this step- it’s really important!
Do not explain yourself or the details to your audience. Ask others not to analyze or give advice when you’re done reading aloud. Try to maintain the feeling of peace and gratitude by sharing it with others. If there is no feeling of authentic love and a growing desire to love others, then do the Immanuel prompts again and try to feel or relive the gratitude memory at the beginning.
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